“Surviving the Holidays After Divorce”

Marybeth Sampsel, a family lawyer in Kalispell, Montana, posted some excellent suggestions for getting through Christmas.  A sample:

Keep your anger, resentment, annoyance, disgust about your ex, his sports car, his/her new love and his family, to yourself. Remember, your kids are part of both of you and when you slam your child’s other parent, your child feels slammed as well.

Do not make your children responsible for your happiness. “Go have a good time with Dad in Jamaica, while I sit here miserable and all alone,” only breeds resentment and guilt in your child.

Don’t compete. If he can afford more than you – fine. Rather than resenting his/her father( or mother), appreciate that your child can experience things you can’t buy him/her. Don’t overspend to keep up. Make memories by doing fun things together – bake cookies, read a Christmas story, build a snowman. Money does not buy love.

The new girlfriend (or boyfriend) cannot and will not take your place.Children are unbelievably loyal. They can love many people, but the title and honor of parent is yours and will be only yours forever. So, relax. Deal with your jealousy without making your kid responsible for your feeling threatened. This is simply not the job of the child.

Good advice for the rest of the year, too.

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About Damian P.

Lawyer with Bedford Law, Bedford, Nova Scotia.
This entry was posted in Child Custody and Access, Child Support, Divorce, Family Law. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to “Surviving the Holidays After Divorce”

  1. Almost been there says:

    All good advice. My brother’s roomate hanged himself on a Christmas Eve a few years ago, allegedly because his ex took the kids out of the province to be with her new beau. Not something you want to go with your eggnog.

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