This isn’t helping

A reader pointed me to the blog of Alaina Giordano, a North Carolina woman who lost custody of her children partly because of her breast cancer. (I’d rather not link to it, but a Google search should find it for you.)  I can understand why Giordano is upset, but blogging about your case (or tweeting about it, or commenting about it on Facebook) is always – always –  a terrible idea.

In custody and access cases, judges want to know which parent is more likely to cooperate with and show respect to the other.  That’s why, if I were representing the father in this case, I’d make sure the court knows about Giordano’s posts publicly denouncing him as a “weekend dad” and explicitly saying the trial judge had no right to rule on the matter because she is childless and unmarried.

Her blog breaks three of my most important rules for family law clients: do not personally insult or unfairly impugn the motives of the other parent, and show nothing less than the utmost respect for the justice system.  Getting your complaints off your chest may be satisfying in the short term, but it will blow up in your face.

And don’t forget: once something is posted on the internet, it’s there for good.  (Two words: Wayback Machine.)   If you insist on blogging about your case, you’d better think about how to explain your posts to your children when they inevitably find them.

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